Every mother’s story is different and the mother’s story we are sharing today is a story of her own. It’s a story of rape, deceit, pregnancy, misery and many felt emotions. By sharing Salomi’s story we are hoping that she touches someone and helps them cope with the situation they may be facing. Most people think because they see you with a child especially being a lesbian that it was consensual sex between a man and a woman or that you’re confused not knowing the honest truth. They see a woman who now wears eyelashes and keeps her eyebrows snatched and automatically assumes she’s going feminine or looking for a man not knowing this has always been her. Having a child that was conceived through rape isn’t easy there are many felt emotions. Like do I announce my story to the world and be someone’s calm in their storm or do I wait and tell my child first because the world can be cruel? You know how they say pregnancy is supposed to be this beautiful and amazing feeling? Well, everything isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be and somebody had to wake up and make the coffee. So, here’s her story…
I use to wonder why, I questioned everything, but now I question nothing. To understand the cycle of life is to understand that I am an individual, therefore there is only one me, these shoes of life were made specifically for me, and when I realized I was created strong enough for all of it, I picked up those shoes, and now I’m walking in them. I remember being a virgin still fresh out of high school and wanting that first time to be special, not knowing it would be so special I would be raped for my first experience. Seeing it was a friend, lover, and person I grew with I figured it was just supposed to happen that way, and that aggressively. I continued my life, without the ability to trust but continuing to love, but choosing to be who I always felt I was a lesbian. I felt like maybe it had happened because I knew I liked women but wasn’t being true to myself because of the opinion of my family and friends. The ironic thing is that when I finally decided to stop living a lie and come out to whom I was, life kicked me even more. I dealt with being homeless sleeping in my car, being called every name possible for being a “dike”. Even in those circumstances, I pushed thru continuing thru nursing school. Getting a bath and food how I could. The minute I needed help to get me thru school is the same instance a stranger became the involuntary sperm donor of my daughter. I went 5 months not telling a soul of what happened not even knowing that I was with child, it took a car wreck, and emergency ride to the hospital to reveal the blessing that came through a detrimental time. I just remember the words “your pregnant” and how my body felt lifeless for what felt like hours. Something that I put in the back of my mind but had frequent nightmares about just came back to slap me in the face again. Why! Why! Why! I never questioned so much in life until then, but those questions, are the reason I question nothing and keep my head up today. I named my heart Summer’Reign, because I know she is my reminder of how strong I am and how she was meant to be here to conquer. Please understand none of it was easy, but I am not what I have been through. It all got bad for me before it got better, I spiraled down a tunnel of angry behaviors, engaging in things I had no business, even suffered depression, PTSD, attempted suicide, and continued to stay in unhealthy relationships trying to find the answers that I simply found when I decided to stop running and uncovered all the things I swept under the rug. I realized that my daughter’s arrival was not my ending but my beginning. And I will walk in these shoes to encourage every woman to stand up no matter what they have been through. Most people who know me have no idea of the things that have occurred in my life because I always have a smile. Understand that this smile came with a price, and that price was worth it to radiate a genuine happiness in my life to know I am just that STRONG….
I wouldn’t change being a mother to my daughter for the world no matter how she was conceived. She’s my Peace, she’s my strength, she’s my comfort, she’s my reason for living. I am her and she is me!
Photo Credits: Salomi Momoh