Break-ups are one of the worst type a pain that a person has to endure. It is not a goo feeling at all.
I read this quote on twitter, and it has stuck with me for a while: “A break-up is like a broken mirror. It is better to leave it broken than hurt yourself trying to fix it.”
Break-ups sucks. They leave you sad, and sometimes depressed.
I can only speak from my experiences with break-ups, and how painful they tend to be.
Break-ups are awkward, and hurtful, and every other word that you can think of to describe a breakout.
I will never forget my worst break-up. I was 19 years old, and my boyfriend at the time was 20. We met when I was just 14, and he was 15. The way we met was so weird. We were both in high school, and it was during finals week, and coincidentally we just so happened to be roaming the halls at the same time. The music teacher, Mrs. Stafford directed us both to come into her room before one of the principles see us, so we both went into her room. I sat on one side of the room, and he the other. We didn’t say a peep to each other the whole time we were in the class. As the final bell ring to end the school day, he held the door open for me. I blushed because his smile was truly mesmerizing. I said thank you and went on my way out the door. As I was waiting on my bus to come, he comes up to me and introduce himself to me, and how he really want my number. I was so gullible back in high school, so I gave in so fast, and wrote my number on his hand with call me under it.
…And the rest is history.
Long story short, because it is very, very, very, long.
We were a couple for about 1-2 years solid. Then after that we were together ON & OFF for about 4 years because he cheated on me, couldn’t get himself together, and he did not know how to date me. He needed to work on him.
So what lead to the big epic, breakout, fall-out? Well we were working on us, trying to get back where we was; in love with each other, the “honeymoon” phase, all of that. But he did not know what he wanted. I wasn’t involved in sexual activities so he “cheated” on me with not ONE but TWO of my “so-called best friends.” I was devastated. I seriously went into a depression. But that’s not all, he got one of the girls pregnant. And that was the end of the road with me. I took him back after he cheated but a baby? My heart couldn’t take it, especially it being with someone I considered a best friend.
I was in such a bad head space. The worst. On the outside, I looked fine. I told all my friends that I was okay, it was for the best, I’m over him, etc., but I was far from those things. My heart was truly, truly broken. I missed him. I wanted him back. If he were to text me during that time and said he wanted to get back together, without hesitation I would’ve. I loved him.
But for him, it was just another day when I finally stopped talking to him. He moved on quick as hell.
So quick that not even 9 months after the child was born, he got my “best friend” yet AGAIN!
Soo.. After hearing about the second baby, I knew there was no way in hell I would ever take him back. My heart wouldn’t be able to take it.
He was in my life as my boyfriend, lover, person I talk to for 5 years. Although we will never be were we once were, if ever needed me I would be there would for him.
I am currently 22. I have known him 8 years, but it honesty feel like all my life.
SO HOW DID I FINALLY GET OVER HIM? Let me tell you it was hard as hell!
Getting over someone/moving on has got to be the hardest thing I have had to do.
Monica’s Why Her helped me a lot, especially the first verse.
My last tear just fell from my eyes
Told myself that I wasn’t going to cry no more
(you did what you did, it is what it is) and that’s why I walked out the door.
Moved on with my life, but not really
Spent too much time wondering how could you
(you do this to us while we we’re in love) I guess I was thinking too much
Honestly listening to music, and praying to God really is what got me over him.
Keyshia Cole, Monica, and K. Michelle got me through one of the roughest times in my life.
I found a place of peace, and where I felt secure. I had to remind myself I am a child of God. I had to cut of all communication with him because if I didn’t old feelings would rush back to my heart, and that wouldn’t have been a good idea.
Like most people, I did not broadcast my split with him or the fact that he had two babies by my “best friend.” That wasn’t something that I wanted to share with the world.
But all in all, how I got back to myself after the break-up was, I took time for myself. I had got so accustomed to having someone, I had to teach myself how to be alone again, and how to be comfortable.
I will leave you with these 3 tips on how to move on from a break-up.
- Find peace/self-care
- Talk to God
- Don’t broadcast the breakup/split