A lot of people tend to stay in relationships that are harmful to their emotional and mental health, because they don’t want to throw all the past memories away.
They get overly optimistic about the state of the withering relationship.
Their self esteem has been battered so much that they think they can’t find a catch as good looking as their partner.
They’re more focused on the benefits of the relationship and less concerned about the adverse effects on them.
But the thing is, if you don’t know your self-worth and exert it in your outwards expression towards people around you, you would be treated like sh*t.
A short story;
A cousin of mine in Nigeria, who kept malice with his neighbor, once threatened to beat his wife up for giving the neighbor who he wasn’t in good terms, a warm greeting.
The woman, a well educated working-class mother of three, threatened to leave the house with all three of the children and never come back, if he ever made such remarks in his life.
She wasn’t kidding and he knew it.
He never made such comments relating to violence ever again.
This woman could stand her ground, because of her self-sufficiency as a highly paid civil servant.
She knows her self worth.
If such remarks were made to a house wife who depended from penny to penny gotten from her husband, or a salary earner with a very low self esteem, she would have apologized and ignored the neighbor the next day, to maintain peace in her household.
Knowing your self worth is the first step towards discovering who/what is right for you or not.
It’ll help you in setting the yardstick.
Here are some tips to help you know if you’re with the right person or not.
The right person for you would be your support system, your solo cheerleader.
They’d offer you all the moral support within their capacity to help you grow and achieve your goals.
They’d be there to pull you up when you’re down and depressed.
They would place a lot of value on you.
They’d make out time for you even if they’re extremely busy.
They won’t want to see you starve if they know you’re broke at the moment, they’d do anything they can to make sure you eat.
They won’t want to see you moody, they’d try their best to know why you’re unhappy, so they can work towards making you feel elated.
Further more, your presence would be always be cherished, they’d want to have you around, even if there’s no conversation going on.
They’d pay great attention to issues concerning you, they’d start a fight with you for not going for the medical check up you agreed to, earlier on, even though the check up is solely important to your health not theirs.
The right person for you would make you their best friend unintentionally, they’ll tell you every single detail about their daily experiences and life, in totality.
They’d show you all of their feelings; love, anger, sadness etc.
They’d make themselves transparent to you.
They’d show you their most vulnerable side, hoping you won’t hurt them.
They’d defend you in public when someone tries to talk bad about you, because of the value they place on you.
They would love you unconditionally.
In good times they’d ride the wave with you, and in bad times they’d stay by your side, regardless of how bad you look, your financial condition, peoples’ perception of you or whatsoever, they’d be with you.
However, if you betray their trust, they would leave.
Finally, THEY WOULD NEVER HIT YOU!
The right person for you would never raise a finger to hit you, if they hit you once, there’s a chance they would do it again.
If the person you’re currently with doesn’t have traits that fit into a few of the aforementioned points,
He/she isn’t the right person for you.